chibiabos (chibiabos) wrote in woundedpaws,
chibiabos
chibiabos
woundedpaws

Taking a stand

Running and hiding from my abusers in the fandom as I have over the years, its unfortunately too late to do anything, no evidence remains, etc. I ran and hid a lot ... and felt guilty knowing I could have stopped them when I knew, after kicking them out of my lives when I finally did, that they'd go on to abuse others. I can't help but feel responsible for the abuse their victims after me went through.

Its been hard, but I can't change my irresponsible inaction in the past. The victims of Sibe have been an inspiration to change, at least, and I've involved myself in doing what little I can to encourage them and let them know what an inspiration they are, taking the time and effort and courage to face him and research his history and put together the useful and informative article on wikifur about him.

I was not directly one of Sibe's victims, and I wondered -- with my name and contribution in the edits as well as on the talk page -- how long it would be, after he got out, before he got around to wondering why I involved myself in his case, why I am taking such a strong and steadfast stance, what my motivations and interests are, and what my goals are in regards to my determination to keep the furry fandom as informed as I can about what he's done, why he's such a threat and a danger, and why its important to not just let bygones be bygones nor forgive and forget his violent, abusive behavior that has harmed not only his immediate victims, but the furry fandom as a whole. I hope I can keep the energy going, and if I am faced with my own tormentors again in the fandom, that I'll learn from what the justice and empowerment Sibe's victims have gained by standing strong and firm, and take the same responsible steps toward them, not running and hiding but letting their crimes do them in.

Anyway, thought I'd share the expected message Sibe sent to me, and my reply to it which I posted to my own LJ: http://chibiabos.livejournal.com/111564.html

Be strong, wounded paws, and take heart. We may not be able to regain our own innocence nor trust in others, but when we respond to what we have been put through with justice and courage, we can stop our tormentors from going on to abuse others. We are not harming the furry fandom by standing up to our abusers ... it is they who harm the fandom by abusing and betraying the implicit trust many furs tend to feel toward one another. *paw hugs to all of you* We don't have to be strong to find courage, we just need to learn to turn to one another to help and support one another. We all hurt. We all suffer. We all cry. This does not make us weak.

*tender pawhugs to all*
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic
  • 5 comments
I wish I took a stand againced both of my tourments... im sorry I feel so weak :/
I have too for such a long time. Its taken me years to get to this point.
*sighs*
Sometimes, its impossible to take a stand. My "furry" abuser was too clever for me, and by the time I realized he was destroying me, I was too broken to leave without outside help.

Don`t blame yourself, you did the best you could. You SURVIVED. Which is more than a lot of abused people can say. You are STILL surviving, which is a hell of a lot better than a lot of people I know. All of that takes TREMENDOUS strength. Don`t second-guess yourself like that, you`re dealing with things that would have ordinary people keeling over dead. I know, its easy to say. My mate tells me all the same things I`m telling you, and I have yet to actually believe him even though I know he`s right.

Hang in there. Life DOES get better.
*hugs*